Keep Going

It seems like the hits just keep coming. Nice, strong start followed by a stressful move. Get settled. Dip my toes into the water to find my routine again, and deal with the holiday setbacks.

Give it another go, feel great about it, and get sick. Sick isn’t enough of an excuse, though, so let’s throw some seriously painful cramps on top of that. C’mon, now. Cramps? That’s no excuse. Get off your ass, and go.

Find out a dear family member – who has been battling a very recent cancer diagnosis – has been moved into hospice care.

Leveled. I feel completely leveled. I’ve spent days actively trying to not cry. I don’t always succeed.

The holidays aren’t over. I’m still sick. I’m still crampy. And I’m heartbroken.

In the big scheme of things, this is life. This is what people deal with every single day on a fairly moderate scale. Lots of people are overcoming even bigger challenges than this. So what’s my problem?

In times like this, I think of the stories I’ve read about people overcoming debilitating accidents, illness – huge setbacks – and I think to myself: Shit. They’ve faced these incredible challenges and still managed to not only pick themselves up and not only stand on their feet again, but they then took off running. They found this incredible strength inside of themselves.

Not once did they say it was easy. Just the opposite, in fact. But they still succeeded.

So yes, today I succumbed to my body’s call for rest and skipped my morning workout. But I made it three days in a row, at five in the morning, in a cold garage, pushing through how awful I felt.

Every day, I try. I make a conscious choice based on what I think is best for me. I’m just having a hard time today convincing myself that rest is what I needed. It’s hard for me to remember that, sometimes. Remember that bodies do still have a limit, and if you push past it, you’re doing yourself more harm than good. Would that have been the case for me today if I’d gotten up and worked out instead of sleeping a little longer? I don’t know.

What I do know, is that the day isn’t over, and that workout is important to me. I still have time to pick myself up and keep going.